I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
