I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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