i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
