Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize