Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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