I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
