he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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