Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
