I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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