Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
