What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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