You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
