is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Duck Duck Cougar?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
