i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
