So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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