oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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