So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish you could order shots online.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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