So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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