So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
