I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The beer is more important than you right now.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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