I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Everyone says I win the strip club
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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