some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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