is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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