I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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