I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
