well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
