At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
