There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
