Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
