just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
