I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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