cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize