Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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