I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
