So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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