maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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