i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
