Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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