Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
