Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just google imaged poop.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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