For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
