Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
