ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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