listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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