She is in my trunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
