do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
