she was so not down for the gang bang
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
