I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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