The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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