Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
