its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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