dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
