Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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