All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Couch. On fire.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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