Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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