He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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