Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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