So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
